You don’t need us to tell you that there’s no guidebook on good parenting, which is why it can feel next to impossible not to compare yourself to other moms. These days, it can seem like comparison creep comes from all angles, be it from fellow parents you know IRL to the expertly curated social media feeds of perfect strangers who make their lives look, well, perfect.
Jodie Sweetin can relate, recently revealing that she used to compare herself to those moms packing Pinterest-worthy lunches for their little ones. The Full House alum—and now mom to two teenage daughters—told Parents her top tip for combating that comparison instinct no matter what stage your own kids are at.
“My best advice is not to worry about keeping up with the other moms,” she told the outlet. “Don’t worry if this mom packed a Pinterest lunch for their kid with Dino-shaped peanut butter and jelly and strawberry blossoms. Just show up for your kids, do your best and they’re going to be okay.”
It seems Sweetin worried a lot more when her daughters Zoie, 16, and Bea, 14, were younger, but now she takes a much more measured approach to things. And as with most parenting scenarios, a sense of humor is key. “It’s not a competition and you have to constantly remind yourself of that,” she said. “You’re just trying to keep your kids heading in a forward direction and not making too much of a mess of things—that’s parenting. So some days you’re going to be like, ’I did such a great job’ and some days you’ll think, ‘Well, that’s probably the thing that’ll put them in therapy.’”
All jokes aside, it’s totally normal and natural if you find yourself endlessly scrolling on someone’s social media accounts, spiraling with worry over whether or not you’re doing things as well as another parent appears to be. But comparison truly is the thief of joy, and it’s important to remember that there is no such thing as perfect parenting, as Laurey Dachs, LCSW, PMH-C, at Alma Therapy, previously told Motherly.
“The comparison game sends us down a rabbit hole of delusional worship of others and unrealistic expectations of ourselves,” said Dachs. “The truth that we all need to remember is that outtakes greatly outnumber posts. Just before (and probably just after) that perfect take was posted, a baby was screaming, the kids were poking each other and the floors were covered in toys.”
