If your dinner table feels more like a battlefield over broccoli than a place of joy, we have good news: science suggests it’s not your fault. A new study published in the Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry found that parents have a lot less influence over their kids’ picky eating habits than you might think.
So if you have a picky eater, blame your kid’s DNA, not your dinnertime habits.
The research looked at over 1,900 pairs of twins to figure out what’s really behind kids turning their noses up at peas or refusing anything that isn’t chicken nuggets. Their findings indicate that genetic factors play a substantial role in picky eating, meaning those food habits may be baked into your child’s DNA, not a product of your parenting style.
Related: 11 ways to help your child overcome picky eating & develop healthy habits
The study used twin comparisons (identical twins, who share 100% of their genes, versus fraternal twins, who share about 50%) to tease apart the impact of nature versus nurture. Researchers found that genetic influences account for the majority of the variation in picky eating. This means that even if you’re serving up Michelin-star-level meals, your little one’s refusal to eat anything green might just be part of who they are.
And before you start blaming yourself for being too lax or too strict at mealtimes, don’t. The study found little evidence that parenting practices directly cause picky eating behaviors. So, all that stress about whether you’ve been too permissive about snacks or too pushy with the veggies? It’s probably not moving the needle as much as you think.
Instead of viewing picky eating as a parenting failure, the researchers suggest looking at it as a normal developmental phase. The behaviors “tend to peak in early-to-middle childhood, with most, though not all, children showing decreases in food fussiness as they mature into adolescence.“ That’s good news for moms slogging through the toddler years with a limited menu of mac-and-cheese, goldfish crackers, and the occasional apple slice.
But if genetics are in the driver’s seat, does that mean parents should just throw in the towel? Not quite. While you may not be able to change your child’s innate preferences, you can still create opportunities to support healthy eating. The study recommends offering a variety of foods without pressure, giving kids repeated opportunities to try new things. Repeated “exposure [to foods] and increasing the variety of fruits and vegetables offered in the home may be most effective in the very early years,” the authors found—even if it takes 10 or more tries before they give peas a chance.
Related: Picky eating in kids is mostly due to genetics, study says
What does this mean for you? First, cut yourself some slack. This research confirms what many moms suspected all along: picky eating isn’t a reflection of your skills in the kitchen—or as a parent. Second, think of the long game. Keep serving those veggies alongside their favorite dishes, and remember, picky eating phases (usually) don’t last forever.
And lastly, let’s normalize not fighting over food. Parents can take a less controlling and more supportive approach to mealtimes. In other words: It’s okay if dinner sometimes feels more like survival than a culinary adventure.
The next time your kid declares their undying hatred for anything that isn’t mac and cheese or chicken nuggies, take a deep breath and remember: science is on your side. Keep showing up, keep serving the veggies, and know that you’re setting the stage for healthier habits, one (tiny) bite at a time.
Sources:
- Parental influence on child’s picky eating habits. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry. 2024. “Nature and nurture in fussy eating from toddlerhood to early adolescence: findings from the Gemini twin cohort.”
